:::sigh:::

What a week. We moved last weekend (as in December 11-12th). It was a crazy weekend with lots of help and little sleep. Since then I have been "recovering" while unpacking, decorating for Christmas and finishing the actual shopping.
This past weekend I was finally able to unpack a few boxes. Our bedroom furniture was delivered Sat afternoon so I started with those boxes. As I was emptying my nightstand box I found a gift certificate from my mom with her handwriting on the front. I lost it. Full-on sobbing. There was nothing I could do to control myself so I just stood there, crying. Kevin came in and was just there for me. I'm so thankful for him. It wasn't until a few hours later that I realized it was 12/19- the anniversary of losing my mother. I don't know if I knew subconsciously, or it was all of the stress from moving/ Christmas, or probably both, but my goodness I needed that self-indulgence. I felt sad but somewhat refreshed and ready to move forward. Everytime I see that gift certificate, I think about taking it in to see if they will accept it, seven years later, but I love to just have it, in the envelope with her handwriting, and know how much it meant to her to give me that as a gift. It goes along with the old-school popcorn popper and gravy boat I will never get rid of, right sisters? ;)
I am thankful for my husband and my sisters- all of them. We will all be okay. I think. Mom is the constant reminder of how important family is and that we stick together even when we don't like each other because according to mom, "someday we will".
Merry Christmas, Mom.

A story of meltdown

I have become such a control freak that I no longer handle change well. I can't remember if I talked about it previously on here, but I think growing up my life was so damn out of control that as an adult I hold very tightly to my routines and rituals. Either that or I was born with it and no amount of therapy will help.

Every Friday for the past 4-5 years I have stopped at Starbucks and gotten the same drink and same food in the morning on the way to work. If I didn't work Friday, I would go Thursday. About a year ago they opened a new Starbucks that is on my route to work. Yay! So I started going there and ordering the same drink and food.

Now that we have Aaron every other week and he's going to Bowie, I have to drive out of my way to take him to school and then figure out the coffee route. This morning I tried something new: I went to a new Starbucks. I drove up and there were probably 12+ cars in line for the drive-thru. After finding a parking space and walking back to the store, the whole patio was covered with soccer moms dressed in workout clothes. (They were only kidding themselves; they just didn't want to get dressed this morning.) Going inside, there were at least 20 high school students waiting in line for drinks. The girls in their skinny jeans, Ugg boots and horizontal-stripe long sleeve t-shirts and the boys wearing jeans and Aero/ Aber t's. I didn't even get fully inside the store. I decided I couldn't handle this much change at once. Not only was it a new store, but it was a whole different group of people, very different than the mellow Oak Hill Starbucks with a few people inside reading the paper and chatting and the standard 4-5 cars in the drive through, or the S Lamar store with the perpetual Pop-A-Lock guys hanging out outside and the weird laptop dude that only people-watches.

So I did what any other not-sane person would do: I backtracked halfway home to go to my Oak Hill Starbucks. I added about 20 minutes to my commute, but that's okay, this is worth it. Then lo-and-behold, there were two new people behind the counter. Any other Friday that may not have been huge, but I was still trying to recover from my anxiety of the last 20 minutes and I almost wanted to cry. Almost. I kinda tried to tell the new guy what happened (kinda) and it didn't really make sense, so I ordered my usual fare and went over to wait by the bar. Then I saw the girl who usually takes my order smile and wave, so it was maybe not so bad. My Starbucks had not been completely invaded by newpeople.

I got my fare and left.

I think I need therapy because this is pretty much not-okay.

Bouyancy

I have been noticing more and more that my attitude and responses are negative. I bitch about more things than I appreciate, and my sarcastic comments aren't always well-received. I think negative responses have become a habitual thing. More and more I am okay with not-nice comments and thoughts. Not that the world needs to be popsicles and butterflies, but there's really no reason to be a cow all the time. Nobody really likes that person.
Appreciate the life I've been given and bring others up instead of down.
I went to lunch today with some friends and we were talking about this very issue. S brought up an article in the New York Times that mentioned that bad habits spread at least two steps. If I'm grumpy, it makes her grumpy and then her fiance grumpy. The same goes with social behaviors- drinking, smoking, weight gain, whatever. (of course it's true- it was in the Times!)
I don't know if it's been me or Kevin, but we both have been progressively pessimistic lately, especially about the new house.
I think it's time to start a new trend. I have some friends that are extremely nice, thoughtful and aside from an occasional funny comment, very positive. I am going to take a cue and make some changes. I don't think there's a need to lecture Kevin. If the article is right, it should be contagious, right? We'll see how it all goes.

Randomness

• I cannot focus as well with my hair down- it has to be pulled up, even if there is nothing but a binder clip to keep it there. Same with watching a movie.
• I eat everything seperately. A hamburger and then fries, a vegetable and then the meat. I eat all of the cucumbers out of a salad, then the broccolli and so on until just the lettuce is left and then I eat that. If I'm feeling adventurous I'll mix it up.
• Speaking of food, I almost always leave a small portion on my plate when I'm done. Most of the time it's just a bite or so. I didn't notice this until my stepmom pointed it out and said my dad does the same thing.
• I drink the exact same coffee from Starbucks every Friday. Any other day of the week I get my alternate and I very rarely cross the two.
• For some reason I'm obsessed with getting a degree. But when I talk to school counselors I get anxiety and walk away again.
• Kevin and I split everything. We drink out of the same glass at home and always share a plate when we eat out. Habit, I guess.

That's all for now- I'm sure I'll update later.

Updates

Here we go...

We sold our house- WooHoo! We are now renters, at least for the next five months. We haven't met the buyer yet as she was unable to make the closing, but she seems like a very kind person that will really appreciate the work we have done to our home. It was written into the contract before closing that we would lease-back for 5 months for a really great price while we figured out our next step.

Next step...

Remember this house? Or at least I posted a similar one awhile back. They created this plan after we requested a shrunken version of the bigger plan. Our options include culinary kitchen, 3rd car garage, study, flex doors, newport shower. We had picked the floorplan, options, and lot, signed the contract and put $ down. Things fell through and we walked away. The week before we closed on selling the current house, we decided to drive through the subdivision. Lo and behold, they were building our house, with our specs on our lot, and were halfway done. We made an offer and negotiated the next day. They did a stop-work so we could make changes, but the rock colors had already been chosen. I took this the day we signed:


Since then, they've rocked and stuccoed. I need to get a newer picture.

We made a few changes, and now the're getting ready to start the sheetrock. Kevin and I go to the design center Thursday to pick out the finishes. Here's hoping it goes well and we can stay in our price bracket. : /

Also, Aaron started high school yesterday, and he's going to Bowie. Yay!!! He's excited to finally be in high school. He signed up for Ag so that he could take the mechanics classes. I hope he has a lot of fun and really enjoys high school, while keeping up his grades. Next week is the open house where we'll get to meet his teachers. We'll see how that goes...

Kevin went back to school as well. I'm glad he's working towards something, but at the same time anxious to wrap up my degree. I wouldn't be surprised if we got them at the same time.

As far as the grill goes, I have even more ridiculous gear now. With the latest gold additions we're getting pretty blingy. I'm looking at the beginning of next year to get them off. God I can't wait.

Wordless Wednesday

(no, believe it or not, that isn't Daisy)

What are you gonna do?

I try not to put an "compromising" pics out on the internets- you know the kind that sneak up and bite you in the ass when you really don't need it. But I need to come to terms with the fact that I'm not a politician, never will be, and really, these aren't so bad... (at least the ones I'm posting). So here's a few pics from back in the day:

I love you, Kristi!

Some Music

Since I'm trying to get back into the swing of blogging, here's another list.
These are some of the songs in my favorites list on my iPod right now. Some are older, some are newer and som I will tire of very quickly.

♦Fashion- Lady Gaga Just fun. ☺ Won't last long, like other LGG songs.
♦ America's Suitehearts- Fall Out Boy I think I just like it bc it's new. When it becomes overplayed I will hate it.
♦Goodbye- Kristinia Debarge I'm loving the fun song remakes.
♦Please don't leave me- Pink I think bc I saw the video the first time I heard it i thought it was hilarious and the "la da da da" line has been perpetually stuck in my head since
♦Black Betty- Spinderbait I love fun car songs
♦I Hate My Life- Theory of a Deadman If you don't take it seriously, it's hilarious
♦Bad Girlfriend- Theory of a Deadman- Again, if you don't take it seriously it's fun and great to work out to.
♦Sittin at a Bar- Rehab (Unedited) It doesn't sound like anything else on the radio right now.
♦You- Atmosphere I so empathize with this song after working in a bar
♦ FairyTale- Sara Barielles I've been addicted to this song for so long- I love it!
♦ Animal I Have Becom- Three Days Grace Since Aaron and I went to this concert I've loves a handful of their songs
♦She's Country- Jason Aldean I'm getting tired of this already.
♦Psycho- Puddle of Mudd I have no idea why I relate to this song so much. That makes me nervous
♦ It Happens- Sugarland So true...
♦ Cheater Cheater- Joey & Rory F'ing hilarious!
♦To Say Goodbye- Joey & Rory Just heartbreaking. I love it.

mm, that's all I can think of now. Like I said- some I'll still love and some I will be sick to death of in a week or less. That's why I love the i over cd's.

Phone Pics

I always have pictures on my phone but I never do anything with them. So here's some random pictures from my phone:
Green Fly .....................Thumb shut in the door ...Landscape Before....After (3 days later)

Tea Tree Plant..... Random flower I grew!......................

I gave Aaron Green juice...... Daisy...

......................Colton & Cammie

.......................Layla

.............Sarah's Pizza....... Bought............... Bought

...............Bought ............Bought for M's wedding ............Returned :(

Turns out formatting is a bitch with multiple photos. I tried!

One potato, two potato, three potato, four.

Long time no see! Since I can't manage to get my random thought on here, I'll update you on the housing situation... or lack thereof.

In the beginning there was this house and we were so in love! It was the perfect floorplan and had everything we needed and then some. (Isn't that kitchen amazing?) Unfortunately they were even farther out than we are currently and we have not been able to find an affordable lot for them to build on. :(

So we kept shopping and found this amazing house (options: Gourmet kitchen, exc. room and extra garage). Unfortunately they sold out of lots to build this home in Austin. If we want it, we have to move to Belterra. A whole 2 miles closer...

We finally found a house and dropped a check to make it start happening. The plan isn't on the website yet, but it's similar to this, only 1000 sq ft lighter. Our favorite part was the side courtyard. Unfortunately things hit the slopes between us/ our agent/ the company and it didn't work out.

There have been many builders and other plans we have checked out in the meantime, but those are the homes we reference/ compare other homes to and that ultimately we will keep trying to figure out a way to get into.

Tonight Kevin and I are going to check out some houses in Meridian. It isn't as close in as we were hoping, but they do have good amenities and are right on MoPac, 8 miles closer in.

DWBellflower SPScarborough SPRutland

We don't have high hopes, but we'll see how it goes!

Friday 02/06/09

:::sigh::: I need to not write blogs if I don't want them to exist forever. I change my mind later and delete them.

Shopping

Deleted- Irrelevant

Grillz

I gots grillz, man. Not gold and bling-y, but silver with rubber bands. I'm sure mine cost just as much, though. It's been 14 months since I got my grill and I am SO ready to have them off. I feel/ look like a 12-year-old. My coworker wants me to wear pigtails bc she thinks that'd be the funniest thing ever. It wouldn't. I promise.

I've had a few migraines over the past week. They started having me wear rubber bands 24/7 to re-align/ pull back my jaw. Apparently the rest of my head isn't pleased with the re-distribution. From having 4-teeth pulled, springs, coils, and numerous other contraptions throughout this process, I am surprised the rubber bands have been the most difficult for me to deal with. Howver, I'm sure all of this is easier than the other option of having my upper jaw removed and moved forward.

This will all be done in about 9 months and will last forever. It may be painful and look goofy, but when it's over I will be forever hot. =D

Wordless Wednesday

Politics

Today is the day, isn't it?

"And as we face these difficult days ahead, may we have a new birth of clarity in our aims, responsibility in our actions, humility in our approaches, and civility in our attitudes—even when we differ." -Pastor Rick Warren
http://mrclm.blogspot.com/2009/01/inauguration-prayer-by-rick-warren.html

There were definitely some ups and downs in today's inauguration. What bothered me the most was the continued Bush hatred. Why is it necessary to Boo him on the day that you are getting a new president? Here's a word: hypocrisy. Would those that Boo Bush think it would be acceptable for Obama to be booed? Probably not. On the day of "new beginnings" I think it's sad that people can't put the past behind them and look forward to a new and hopefully improved future.

I think regardless of your political persuasion, a President should be respected for having the weight of the world on his shoulders. Bush deserves positive regard for doing the best he could, whether or not everyone agreed with the outcome. Obama equally deserves respect because he has earned the title of President. Hatred as an American is out of line when referring to any President, current or past.

So, About My Personality...

It's different. It's not just a nice, normal, pleasant kinda personality. I'm more of a think-before-I-speak kinda person. Sometimes I say things that aren’t so nice, but I really don’t intend to be rude. I can be a little vulgar (between being a cocktail waitress at a bar and marrying a firefighter I’m screwed) and sometimes I can seem judgmental or (insert your opinion here). I know that I’m not better than any single person on this planet- just the ones that that are manipulative cows.

My sense of humor is a little off as well, so I’ve learned. I’m very sarcastic and sometimes people just don’t get that. I think it drives my sister in law crazy because she’s always asking me if I’m serious or not- usually, I’m not. There’s a pattern there. ;)

The thing is I am who I am. I am so thankful for my sisters for knowing who I am and helping interpret that to other people. I think I lost some kind of social gene along the way… But I do try to be a nice person, an outgoing person and in general a good person.

I have had friends come and go- some acquaintances and some very close friends. I have been told that I can be somewhat of a bitch. (Can you believe that?) The thing is I don’t care- if I’m not doing something wrong then you either like me or you don’t. Sorry, cupcake. There are plenty of people in my world that love me for who I am. I have made some great friends over the last couple of years and they know who I am and what my values are. I’m not going to offend them with a lame-ass comment.

So yeah, maybe I’m not as outgoing as Michelle or kind as Mandy, but I’m cool with that. :)

2008 In Review

I started to write a review of 2008 but damn it was boring. It felt more like a Christmas newsletter than a blog entry. So here's a brief(er at least) summary:

Beginning of '08: Took a sememster of school, met a half sister, Linda. She's so fantastic, what a blessing!

Middle of '08: Went to Seattle and Kevin met my Dad for the first time. They clicked. How could they not? Our Dad is freakin' hilarious! Linda's family went also and it was really neat to meet my nieces. They are so adorable and funny (14 and 17?). And of course, Linda's hubby Darin who is a Fire Chief as well. What are the odds? Oh, and it was Linda's first time to see Dad in 20+ years. That was a teary reunion.

Kevin made promotion and we had a big bbq and floated a keg. This needs to be an annual thing- the bbq at least.

Robert got married! Kevin and I went to Dallas to celebrate Robert's forever-union with Brak. It was beautiful and amazing. I couldn't be happier for them. Plus I'm proud of Kevin for going with me. :)

We took Aaron to Disney World in FL for the last time. He took a friend with him. It was so much fun; I love that place. Rollercoasters don't get any better than the Tower of Terror. I could ride that thing 20 times in a row. Kevin got tired of it before then.

Later '08: We went to SPadre for the sandcastle competition. Not that we were interested, but it was something to do.

Aaron went back to school and didn't do so well. His first girlfriend was a distraction, to say the least. :/ He's still a good kid and I hope he continues to make an effort.

We decided to sell the house. We haven't found "the one" but we know we are too far away from town to stay here longer.

Thanksgiving and Christmas I didn't get enough time with my family. I love them all to pieces and need to see more of everyone.

This year I made some fantastic friends that I think will be around quite awhile, and have really started to take the time to learn who my friends are. It's important for me to be happy with those that surround me and improve who I am.

Coming up in '09:
Seeing Linda & fam again
Seattle to see Dad again- this time bringing Aaron
Maybe a trip to Maine?
Hopefully a new house.

Regardless, I could not be happier with my life right now. Thanks to everyone who made 2008 the best yet. I really do look forward to carrying the happiness into 09 and making it an even better year.

The end.